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Startled By His Own Tail

by Little Otik

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1.
On the ashes of a matchstick house I slept there once or twice I was living with a woman then there may have been a child but the fire burned out years ago now, there’s not a light for miles I walk with my hat low brim covering both my eyes I air out all my secrets in the same breath as my lies so let’s talk a while longer There’s not a light for miles Thick trees hung above me There ain’t a moon tonight Let me sleep beneath the high grass under endless starless skies Lay me down to rest here where there’s not a light for miles
2.
Without the checks your mother sends you’d never cover this month’s rent you smoked and drank every dollar landed in your lap you talk endlessly about yourself But like the Brautigan on your shelf I was just another book you never read You left every other door open every other door open every other door open but one You were never much in the mood The couple times I got off real good you were out of the house doing whatever it was you do When you claimed that you were on the pill stuck me with three months’ worth of bills I was just relieved you were finally gone for good You left every other door open every other door open every other door open but one In the years that disappeared you joined a circus or a cult or some damned thing I wrote a couple letters but I ain’t ever heard any news I wonder every now and then which drain you circled down and went but you never saw fit to ease my worried mind You closed every other door behind you every other door behind you every other door behind you but one
3.
Oh Creatures 01:58
lyrics by J. Olivo Who of all these tortured souls regrets they’re old real Who looks back appalled twisted creatures look back on shadows passed beloved and the cursed the wizened and the crass the empty people We are dangerous all our love sequestered push and pull and thrust is all that we can muster… now Break all of our older toys and wish them back again button eyes are blind to twisted creatures look back on shadows passed beloved and the cursed the wizened and the crass the empty people We are dangerous all our love sequestered push and pull and thrust is all that we can muster… now Thin So thin oh, you tragic things So thin
4.
I didn’t apologize/ I must have rolled my eyes during grace/ We both read Hegel and share our disdain at length/ Let’s discuss the possibility/ that precedes all possibility/ just as being (as a word)/ Is a noun before it’s a verb The void I’m kneeling toward is finite enough Soren, such is our love/ such is our love We didn’t exist/ before our first sin/ I sipped from your glass/ sipping where you had last/ Let’s discuss the possibility/ that precedes all possibility/ just as being (as a word)/ Is a noun before it’s a verb The void I’m kneeling toward is finite enough Soren, such is our love/ such is our love
5.
Vagina Eyes 02:42
When you get off of work You drop the kids off at your mom’s change out of your clothes and head off to the bar Oh, where are you tonight Where are you tonight my little vagina eyes When I’m let out of the bar I stumble to my car stare up at the starless city skies and wonder where you are Oh, where are you tonight Where are you tonight my little vagina eyes Maybe we could get off of work sometime and grab a bite to eat And maybe if my mother ain’t at home We could come back to my place and watch tv When I call, you aren’t home but you’re house light’s always on I peek in every Riverwest bar thinking I’ll find you on your baby daddy’s arm Oh, where are you tonight Where are you tonight my little vagina eyes
6.
And How 03:24
never did a line of coke never saw a holy ghost been as far west as Fargo, ND far east as Ohio tell me, how am I still alive how am I still alive I'm burdened just like you by my own version of the truth I drink and get pissed just shaking my fist at all I'm entitled to tell me, how am I still alive how am I still alive adolescent solipsism mixed with nascent alcoholism I'm embattled, embittered and emboldened by the path that I thought chosen like a mouth, the road yawns open but there's nowhere left to drive tell me, how am I still alive how am I still alive
7.
There's a keyhole in my can of beer There's an eye behind it Sizing me up and staring me down and my hangover's coming the thorny crown of dawn is falling over me Oh, love is cruel Love is truly absurd Jesus almost got me I don't know how many prayers he overheard There's a new leaf in the garden and all the buds bloom open like eyes And the hand that folds the tide in the sea is pouring a drink and sliding it over toward me Oh, love is cruel Love is truly absurd Jesus almost got me I don't know how many prayers he overheard
8.
middle-aged man is online again stalking all his teenage daughter's friends when they come by the house he creeps all of the girls out I say no... Don't be creepin' don't be creepin' out for drinks with a couple friends Lacey's shift picks up after ten when she bends down behind the bar my friend elbows at my arm I say no... Don't be creepin' don't be creepin' what kind of man goes and begs like a dog on his hind legs what kind of a lonesome troll goes begging every lady baby baby pretty pretty please every little catcall is making her skin crawl thinking your slick with your tenth grade shtick attrition-based courtship from a court-ordered distance why do you have to sniff every roadside flower why do you have to sniff every roadside flower oh, don't be creepin' don't be creepin'
9.
Darlene 02:45
I’m sleeping on the couch/ At my mother’s house/ I’ve been out of work so very long/ Until my piss is clean/ nobody’s going to hire me/ but don’t give up on me, Darlene Oh, Darlene/ I’m begging darling, please/ I’m on both my knees/ Can we keep the baby, Darlene We’ll both stay at your mama’s house/ you’ll go to school; I’ll find a job/ Your mom can watch the baby when we need/ When my probation ends in spring/ we’ll have more ways to make ends meet/ Everything will be alright. You’ll see. Oh, Darlene/ I’m begging darling, please/ I’m on both my knees/ Can we keep the baby, Darlene I know sometimes we have our fights/ and I’ve been less than faithful once or twice/ I raise my hand to you/ you raise your voice to me/ but this baby might make right for us, Darlene Oh, Darlene/ Nobody wants to be/ a mother at fifteen/ But can we keep the baby, Darlene
10.
Long 04:27
Watch them hobble on/ clutching empty chests and wooden hearts/ wounded every place/ like downed lines or cracked concrete/ Strip my limbs/ I’m half the man I thought I’d be/ and through two glass eyes I see/ cancer got the best of me All I am are parts/ the sum of what’s undone/ half a mind to find/ where the other half has gone/ one thing’s for sure/ people live too goddamn long My spine and bladder/ are a rusted pail and warped wooden ladder/traded all my silver to craft a perfect tongue/ sharpened it on everyone I touched/ every pair of arms/ that held me once are gone All I am are parts/ the sum of what’s undone/ half a mind to find/ where the other half has gone/ one thing’s for sure/ people live too goddamn long

about

dedicated to Randy Ridout

credits

released November 10, 2012

mastered by Justin Perkins at Mystery Room
"Oh Creatures" written by J. Olivo
"Jesus Almost Got Me" written by Anita Lane with slight lyrical revision
all other songs written by Daniel Anthony Bullock
Allen Cote played lap steel.
Cathy Kolb played violin.
Heidi Spencer's vocals graced "Jesus Almost Got Me"
Daniel played everything else.
photography by L'Orso Sul Monociclo

no synthesizers were used in the making of this recording

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Some rights reserved. Please refer to individual track pages for license info.

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Little Otik Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Little Otik is from Milwaukee. As cities go, it’s a little unsure of itself. Milwaukee and Little Otik have that in common. Their debut Startled By His Own Tail is a failed country album about failure.

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